Muzak Rules

For what its worth, I think that its worth mentioning that I'm sitting in the lounge of a Marriott Hotel typing this while "The Way That You Are" by Smashmouth, the muzak version, is being piped over the background music system.

I'd like to hear how the decision to record a minor Smashmouth hit came down from the bigwigs at Muzak:

Bigwig 1: Well, gentlemen, thank you all for coming. As we all know, Muzak, Inc. continues to be the leading seller of crappy instrumental background music across the globe. However, thanks to this shaky economy and general unease throughout the marketplace, we must firm up our footholds where ever we can.

Bigwig 2: You mean by targeting commercial locations that are likely to attract clientele that prefer our version of lite instrumental pop hits from the 70s and 80s?

BW 1: no dumbass by recording new Smashmouth tunes

BW 2: Oh yes, of course.

BW 1: Smashmouth fans are the new versions of the nebulous consumers of our product that we have always tried to target - they are Carpenters fans transplanted to today's fast-paced world. If they like Smashmouth, it is likely that their fathers and/or mothers were big fans of Jackson Browne back in the day.

BW 2: I see now! I can't wait to brainstorm other similar contemporary artists that also fit the bill...The Goo-Goo Dolls...Sister Hazel...umm...uhh...whos that black chick who looks like hermes from futurama

BW 3: Tracy Chapman. Perfect.