The Best of the Best

Time: 17 minutes
Mileage: 718.something

So I've lived in Baltimore more almost 7 years now, and if there is one thing that Baltimore city drivers (and scooterists) will tell you about driving in the city is that we have most likely the most FUBAR, illogical, under-maintained traffic light system in the country. Now I know that's a bold claim, but you spend 20 minutes getting down MLK Boulevard at 1 AM with no traffic, and you tell me you don't agree.

The problem is not so much with placement as it is with timing. I truly believe that back in olden days when people drove Cadillacs with huge fins on the back and everyone listened to the Beach Boys, some city traffic coordinator set the timing for the lights, most likely while drunk, and then sat back and said, "Whelp, that should do it for the next 70 years or so." I've never seen a badly timed traffic light be changed since I've been here, and I don't think I ever will. It just goes on and on - most Baltimoreans have simply taken it for granted by this point.

Anyway, I thought I'd share with you a couple of my personal faves:

#1 Worst Light Ever in the History of Timing Things Award:
South Caton Ave. @ Joh & Georgetown Roads, SW Baltimore/Arbutus

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This little bundle of joy has been a thorn in my side for as long as I can remember. I practice with my band right down the street from this intersection, and if I want to take I-95 to practice, I have to sit through this light. And when I say sit, I mean sit. I shit you not - the actual cycle time of this light is 2 1/2 minutes from red to green. Here's how it goes:

1. N/S bound traffic on Caton Ave.
2. East-bound traffic from Joh Ave.
3. West-bound traffic from Georgetown Ave.
4. Left-hand turning traffic on Caton Ave.
5. N/S bound traffic on Caton Ave.

Now, you may be saying to yourself that that doesn't look too bad, but here's the kicker: there is never any traffic on Joh or Georgetown Ave. Never. Look at the satellite map - the only thing down Joh Ave. is the emissions inspection station and ITT Tech, and the only thing down Georgetown Ave. is nothing. So you find yourself sitting on Caton Ave. for 2 1/2 minutes while the lights cycle and no one is moving anywhere. If you think I'm being petty, give it a try for yourself. Enjoy!

#2 Worst Light in Baltimore at Least Award:
MLK @ Howard St.

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I know what you're saying to yourself: "How could that absolute cluster-fuck of an intersection provide any problem to anyone at any time?" I hear you. And here's the thing - it doesn't have to be!!!! The first problem is that at this point MLK goes from being a four-lane road to a two-lane road. Problem 2: there are always double-length buses turning left from Eutaw St. onto MLK that block the intersection. Problem 3: there is a light for the crosswalk inbetween Eutaw and Howard Sts. that will stay red for seemingly forever while the light in front of it is green. As soon as the crosswalk light turns green....you guessed it, the light at Howard St. turns red. Yeah, that sounds like the kind of thing you want to have at an already crowded and complicated intersection at the end of the busiest street in Baltimore.

Alright, I'm done now. I'll try to take some pictures of these lovelies the next time I'm stuck in traffic.

The Start of Something Big

Hi all.  Welcome to my bloggish thing.  For anyone who is reading this post as it actually appears on the first day of this blog, October 3, 2008, I congratulate you on being a piece of history.  A really, r

eally, really small and categorized part of history really pertaining to no one but me, but a piece of history anyway.  For those of you who are reading this to find out why this blog exists, welcome...I guess.

What this is all about:  I'm going to attempt to write a daily recap of my adventures riding my 50cc scooter to and from work each day.  I have no idea how well this is going to work, or turn out, or whether or not it will be interesting to anyone but me - I suspect it probably won't.  But writing about my mishaps on the road is really only part of why I'm doing this blog.  In reality, I need an excuse to write.  I used to write all the time when I was in school, and now, outside of e-mails, status reports, and client proposals, I don't have any time (at least that's what I tell myself) to actually just write.  

So, I'm not simply doing this blog to tell you how many people cut me off each day, but rather as an exercise to get myself to write.  Call me selfish - I am! 

Who I am:  I'm a 26 year-old who works for an audiovisual company in Baltimore, MD.  I love the Baltimore Orioles.  I

 play guitar in two bands.  But enough about me - lets get to the real star of the show...

This here is my Genuine Roughhouse R50 scooter that I purchased all the way back in July of 2008.  Okay, well its not mine, that's the official promo shot of the scooter, but you get the idea.  

Isn't it the ugliest damn thing in the world?

There is absolutely nothing that endeared me to this model when I went to buy my scooter.  I wanted a Buddy, which is a knock-off of a Vespa, one of those classic-looking scooters that all the Mods used to ride back in England when the Who kicked ass and before the Kinks started getting lame.  This was literally the last scooter that they had in the 50cc range.  Here in Maryland, you can have a scooter up to 50cc without having to get it registered, or having to get a motorcycle license.  Obviously, I wanted a 50cc scooter.

But so does everyone else in the world these days, so I had to take what I could get.  The guy at the dealership said they weren't getting a shipment of Buddies in for another two months at the earliest and they had all been sold already.  But, he said in his salesman-like way, this here ugly-ass thing with headlights that look like Frank from Donnie Darko and a split-pea soup paint job, has the same engine as the Buddy, with more storage space, larger tires, and bigger shocks.

SOLD!  To the impulsive idiot on the left.

So I got the ugly thing and headed home, and have absolutely fallen in love with it ever since.  It no longer seems ugly to me - it has character.  It gets me everywhere I need to go in the city quickly, I can keep up with even crazy Baltimore traffic, I can park anywhere I want, and best of all, I get 90 MPG.  So nyah.

Every day I ride my scooter to work about 5 miles along this route:

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I suspect that at some point I'll give you some details about different sections of the route, but suffice it to say that it is pretty varied - it goes from a four-lane road to one-way streets to driving under bridges and beside a pretty creek.  I'm pretty lucky in that regard, and it certainly has made my commute a hell of a lot more bearable.

So that's that - I hope to update this daily, but I probably won't.  Like most things I do, I thought of this on the way to work, I'll be really into it for about two weeks or so, and then I'll trail off and eventually forget about it.  So you have that to look forward to.