Designated for Assignment, Part I: York Revolution

Sorry for the wait, ladies and gentlemen – I know you have all been sitting on my page hitting refresh for the last weekend waiting for my update. Well, wait no longer.

My girlfriend and I began our journey through the minor and independent league baseball stadiums in the DelMarVa region last Friday with a trip up to lovely York, PA. York is home to the Atlantic League York Revolution, an independent league team that has been around for oh, about two years. I was interested in this game particularly to see the level of play that is in the independent leagues due to the number of ex-major leaguers that choose (or have no choice but) to play in them. Guys like Dewan Brazelton, Hideki Irabu, Oil Can Boyd, Tony Batista, Shawn Chacone, Carl Everett…well, you get the idea. Anyway, it seems like a really interesting mix of guys you have never heard of and will never hear of and crazy flame-outs from the bigs. What more can you ask for to start a baseball road trip?

Well, I can tell you that the whole experience absolutely exceeded my expectations. The stadium was beautiful, the seats were great (and cheap), we got to see Von Hayes, and there was a monkey.

After work on Friday we headed up 83 to York despite a weather report that showed intermittent thunderstorms all night long. There was terrible traffic almost the entire way, but we got into York in plenty of time and set to work following the directions from Google maps. Well, it turns out that those directions were wrong – they led us to a warehouse district downtown whichwas pretty…umm…interesting, but not interesting enough to have a ballpark nearby. So I loaded up the ol’ iPhone and searched for “Sovereign Bank Stadium” and it gave us another address in NW York that was near some parks. Looked good to me, and we were off.

Well, all there was at that location was, well, parks. No ballpark, and nothing that looked like or indicated that there was a ballpark in the immediate vicinity. So Google has now given us two bum locations. How hard is it to point us to a professional league baseball stadium? How many of these things are there in York? So we went straight to the source, which is probably what we should have done in the first place, and checked the Revolution’s website, which told us that the stadium was exactly nowhere near either of the two locations we were told. Weird, but we assumed that they would know where their own ballpark was, so we took their word for it.

Turns out they were right, and we found parking in an abandoned lot across some very forbidding railroad tracks. We missed the first pitch, but it turns out we got to our seats at the right time, because almost as soon as we sat down, the batter hit a foul ball that nearly hit the fat lady that was sitting next to us. I was too disoriented - no, uncoordinated - to catch it myself, but I came damn close.

Sovereign Bank Stadium itself was a very pretty stadium – just built in 2007. There is a huge green wall in left field, which they call the “Arch Nemesis” – which only makes kinda sense because it is near Arch Street…but I still think it’s kinda a lame name. There was this old guy in the stands next to us who led what must have been the Revolution’s version of the Oriole cheer: he would stand up and yell “HIT THE WALL”.

Really, that was it…at first I thought he was saying, “HIT THE BALL”, which was a nice sentiment. You know, nothing too complicated for these independent league players, just HIT THE BALL. But no, he was telling them to HIT THE WALL, which is still a bit baffling but easier to say than HIT IT OVER THE WALL OR IMMEDIATELY TO THE RIGHT OF IT AND IN THE AIR.

The York Revolution themselves were a group of malcontents and thugs, consisting of guys named Brad and Tony who refused to shave off their goatees and bend the brim of their caps more than 2 degrees off straight across. I guarantee that if you were to see these guys in a bar you would immediately hate them, but these are probably the kind of guys who hang out at the Green Turtle to pick up Towson chicks, so you (hopefully) won’t run into them.

What made the team (and trip) worth it was the inimitable leadership of one Chris Hoiles – yes, that Chris Hoiles. As far as unemotional managers go, he was definitely one of the most unemotionalist. Basically he leaned against the rail for a bunch of innings, occasionally consulting with Tippy Martinez (the pitching coach, and yes, THAT Tippy Martinez) and then walking unemotionally out to the mound to switch pitchers. I don’t think that he said one word to any of his players or anyone other than Tippy Martinez the entire game. But like I said, the team was a bunch of losers, so I can’t say I blame him. He did have a nice-looking watch, however.

HIT THE WALL

Of course the highlight of any minor league baseball game is the stuff that goes on between the innings. You know, the non-baseball stuff. The Revolution, I will not hesitate to say, have this facet of the game down pat. They feature, in no particular order:

- A man firing a cannon

- Not one, but two mascots, Reggie and Outfield

- An “Energy” team (yes, that was really their name – basically the interns who thought it would be cool to intern for a baseball team for the summer. Now they’re dancing a hoedown on top of a dugout whilst wearing a policeman hat)

- A man running around in a gigantic, blow-up monkey balloon

- Free Frisbees and t-shirts

- A “knighting” ceremony wherein the PA announcer announces in the worst British accent I have ever heard that one lucky kid gets to be Sir _____ for the night and everyone has to obey him. HAIL SIR _______

- HIT THE WALL

Oh, and I forgot to mention the best part: the fruit race! Here, to the delight of everyone, including me, they trotted out three small kids to run around the bases from first to home. That would probably be comical enough, but then they dressed them up in ridiculously oversized fruit costumes – hilarity ensues. Probably the highlight of the evening.

Plus, add in one comically oversized first base coach, and you have yourself an independent league ballgame.

It was a great time. I bought a York Revolution fitted cap – I think I’ll probably do that for each game I go to – and my girlfriend got herself a Chris Hoiles Revolution t-shirt.

* Note the novelty batting helmet ice cream cup. Classic.

So we’re off to a great start. You stay classy, York PA.

Next Up: HIT THE WALL The Frederick Keys @ Harry Grove Stadium