Circumnavigating the Mega-corporation Seas

So I’m trying to sell some of my crappy guitars on eBay, and to do that I had to update my PayPal account. I don’t know if you’ve ever fucked around with PayPal, but they are the most anal-retentive security-laden company in the world. Every time I’ve ever had to update anything on my account, it has involved them sending me a hard copy letter to my parent’s house in PA and then me doing about 12 levels of security verification.

Anyway, I haven’t used eBay or PayPal in a long time, and when I tried to update my account today, it told me that I had to call in. So I did, and waited on hold for 20 minutes and then talked to an account representative, who asked me my first and last name.

“John Rossman”

“Okay, Mr. Rossman, what can I do for you today?”

“I would like to update the phone number associated with my account.”

“I’m sorry sir, but only the owner of the account can update that information.”

“But I am the owner.”

“No, I’m sorry, the name that is listed on the account is different than the name you provided.”

“What do you mean? What is the name on the account?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you that information.”

“Oh, I know, I know…its listed under ‘Jay’ Rossman. Don’t worry – that’s me.”

“I’m sorry, but I can only let the name listed on the account update the profile.”

“But that’s me! I’m Jay Rossman!”

“That’s not the name that you provided me when I asked what your name was.”

“That’s my nickname! I am Jay Rossman! I am John Rossman! We are the same person! It is I!”

“I’m sorry, but I can only let the name listed on the account update the profile.”

“So let me get this straight: you can’t let me update the phone number on my profile because I said initially that my name was John and the name on the profile is Jay?”

“That is correct.”

“Okay, then I will just hang up, call again, and tell the next person that my name is Jay. Which it is.”

“………………………………”

“I’m sorry, but I can only let the name listed on the acco…”


*click*


Needless to say, 20 minutes later I updated Jay Rossman’s information. What fun!