Chips.

I like potato chips. A lot. I always have. I like the taste, their portability, their wide availability and low price, and the sensation of eating a crunchy chip. Its a good time all-around. But what I really like about chips the most is.......the seasoning on the chip.

Don't get me wrong, I like the flavor of fried potatos, but it is the crazy crap that they put on top that makes it for me. Sure, I'll eat a couple plain potato chips, but those rare occasions are typically reserved for backyard barbeques, parties, or church functions - anywhere where there's the ubiquitous bowl of chips next to the bowl of pretzels and jug of lemonade. But I would never just buy a bag of plain potato chips at the store to eat at home...I mean - look at all the options out there:

What proper American could look at all of those options and conclude, "You know what, I'm going to go with Lay's original (non-ruffled)"? If, and this is a big if, you were to simultaneously purchase one of those little sour cream and onion or nacho cheese chip dip cans to eat with your plain potato chips, I might let it slide, but those little things are expensive.

And unnecessary in this day and age. Chip manufacturers have realized that people my age buy a lot of chips, and we like the craziest damn flavors you can get. I mean, have you ever been to the Doritos website? How cool is that?

Taco and Ranch dressing?Why the hell not?

Bloody Mary?
No trans fat! Healthy!

I bet they would never make General Tso's flavor chips, he said haughtily.


BAM

These things are great...I've had all three of these chips, and they do not disappoint. Manufacturers seem to be latching on to the whole 'kettle cook'd' theme pioneered (at least in my mind) by Utz under the 'Grandma Utz' label. I happen to think this is a great development as I prefer my chips to be as thick and over-cooked as possible. Make 'em a half-inch thick and halfway burnt with the skin still on it, I say. And make them all like the ones at the bottom of the bag that have way too much seasoning on them. I'm not alone, right?

I do have to warn you about one recent new product now on the market - not really a chip, but the same concept...

The flavored pretzel chip. These guys caught my eye and piqued my interest, as I love the Snyders of Hanover's flavored pretzel pieces, but I would like them in a more manageable form. Don't be lured in by their Siren song. These things are horrible. The pretzel chip part is fine, but the flavoring literally tastes like gym socks or mildew or something else that's rotten. I mean disgusting. And thanks to the excessive amounts of seasoning they put on them, that lovely aftertaste stays with you all night long.

So chip wisely, my friends.